Escapism

You feel the safest to share my worries with and in that i ve finding myself lost only wanting you to have and share this mess in my head, and shut myself out from my other escapes; my songwriting, pieces of paper, this blog, my environment which have somewhat helped me help myself

...which made me realize i forgot what i already knew, i cant expect you to be there all the time, even when i need you the most, cause that maybe the time you need me the most to be at my best.

Yes, i m a mess at the moment, but its nothing i can't handle...i always will be able, i do wish i had you around but for now, my heart can wait for you to help pick it up but my mind won't, i ll fix this mess... the irony is its not a matter of a fixing, its a matter of deciding. I will start with admitting this is the hardest point of my life so far, where my cross-roads don't have any street signs, and i dont have a hand to hold as i try to get to the other side and it seems like the cars are trying to run me down and i m not crossing fast enough.

And i do admit, i like seeing things through your beautiful soul when you let me, let myself in.